X Factor Week 1 Eliminations Review

Deary deary me. Never in the history of X Factor has the gulf in talent been so wide. Never have I been so confused as to why judges make their decisions. Let's get down to business.

First off, Craig Colton.

Let's face it, he stole the show. As the out-and-out best contestant this year by such a long margin, it is inevitable that he will somehow finish 2nd, like G4, Rhydian and JLS.

Before we move onto the doom and gloom, let's quickly talk about Sami Brookes.

OK, I was harsh on her. Her audition was crap, can't even remember her at Boot Camp, and she was crap at the Judges houses... but on the live final she shot ahead of all before her in my opinion with what was, quite honestly, a good all-round performance. It didn't rock my world or anything, but she clearly took the lead until Craig came along. So I will admit I may have been slightly wrong, and say a big well done to her.

Moving swiftly along, it all goes downhill from here. "Misha B", as she is now apparently known, gave an ok performance let down badly by resorting to rapping. Please, everyone, learn from this, rapping does not go well and detracts from a decent vocal.

Now for the worst 3 acts of the night... all of whom managed to stay in thanks to the lack of public vote.

In 3rd... it's Janet Devlin.

 Now, I'll be honest: She's got a decent voice... for a 6 year old. As far as X Factor goes, she's well below par. I'm not understanding the fuss behind her one bit.

In 2nd Worst place, it's Kitty Brucknell.

After I'd actually praised her following her performance at Judge's Houses, she decides to tackle not only a Queen song, but my PERSONAL FAVOURITE SONG OF ALL TIME. If it wasn't for the fact that there was one person even more hideously bad then her I'd be wishing her an instant disqualification on the grounds of being an insult to the show. But the fact remains, she stayed in, along with Johnny, ahead of Jonjo??? Now that's just wrong. Even worse was her reaction when Jonjo was dismissed, the double fist-pump of victory. When she gets voted off, I'm sure she'll receive the same gesture a million times over from the population of the nation.

And finally, this week's mouldy cabbage, possibly the single worst vocalist to ever disgrace the stage of X Factor (Yes, worse than Jedward, and by a long chalk)... it's Frankie Corcozza.

Aside from looking kind of like Noel Fielding, he sings worse than a parrot with a sore throat screaming while trapped in a food blender. I mean really, can anyone be that bad without actually trying really hard to be so bad? And yet in he stays. I hope it's not all down to the fact that he's supposedly a "stud", because I sincerely believe the girls names apparently tattooed on his behind are probably either made up, or what he calls his right hand on various days of the week.

Despite all this, one thing is very clear... the groups are screwed and stand no chance whatsoever.