X Factor Week 1 Performances Review

So how did last night's X Factor go? Here's the tale of the evening.

Amelia Lily
Michael Jackson's Billy Jean (Heavy Rock version)
Not a great start to the X Factor. She looks awful, and sounds not much better. As usual,

The judges make out it was an amazing start to the show. My reaction... Meh. 4/10.

Jonny Robinson
Cher's Believe
We're waiting for a judge to put their hand up as they would in the original auditions to stop it. It's THAT bad. Sorry, Jonny, think you're a great guy, but that just reminded me of either Pinky & Perky or Alvin and the Chipmunks. Capable of better, but doesn't stand a chance of winning. Surely? 3/10.

Rhythmix
Don't know what the hell it is.
But it's crap. Someone's going to have to really try hard to be worse than this. I stand by my original prediction. 0/10.

Frankie Corcozza
Ed Sheerhan's The A Team
JESUS. He managed it straight away. This is so awful and disrespectful to the original song. GOT to go, he can't even sing a single note. It's an insult to the X Factor that he's on this stage. -10/10.

Sophie Habibis
Katy Perry's Teenage Dream
I don't know the song at all, but I thought that was the first decent performance. Still not blown away though. 5/10.

Jonjo Kerr
The Kink's Really Got Me
Kind of disappointing, not helped by an awful choice of song. But his quality showed, and he gave it his best. I know he's capable of much better. But for this performance, 5/10.

Two Shoes
Girls Aloud's Something kinda "ooh".
Another terrible song choice. I expected so much more from these girls, but they didn't impress me at all. 4/10.

James Michael
The Beatles' Ticket To Ride
Looks like he's on Coronation Street. Not a great performance, but feel like he's got much better in him than that. 5/10.

Misha "B"
Adele's Rolling In The Deep
I actually really liked how this started out... then it went all wrong when she started rapping. That spoilt it for me. Best act so far, but still... where's the X Factor? 6/10.

Nu Vibe
No idea what the song was.
Pah. What the hell was that? Gary gets it spot on with "hiding behind the song". I really hope something good is going to happen soon or this might be the last time I watch X Factor. 1/10.

Marcus Collins
No idea of the song.
A decent performance, but still, nothing to get over-excited about. 5/10.

Sami Brookes
Know the song, but can't remember what it's called or who it's by.
Shockingly quite good. Best performance so far. But still... not breath taking. I take it back, Jonny in bottom spot for the overs now. 7/10.

The Risk
Plan B's She Says
Well, that's that then. The Groups have NO chance. At all. They're all crap. 2/10.

Craig Colton
No idea what the song is.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THE WINNER, GAME OVER. 10/10

Kitty Brucknell
Queen's Who Wants To Live Forever
If you're going to sing my favourite song of all time, don't murder it. D'oh. Too late. But at least she wasn't as bad as Frankie Corcozza. 0/10

Janet Devlin
Coldplay's Fix You
Awful, tone-deaf performance. Completely rubbish. 1/10.

Overall summary then... Craig in a different class to everyone else so far. Acts to go out should be Kitty from the Overs, Frankie Corcozza from the boys, Janet Devlin from the girls and Rhythmix from the groups.